Wanted to share my daughter Natalya's progress on her Praying in Color journal. She has the same format as I do, 1000 gifts on the left and her praying in color on the right.
She uses a combination of stencils and mostly drawing shapes and using colored pencils.
" I take my gifts for granted, so it has been a blessing to have them on paper and to remember them and how they affect my life."
Natalya does her gifts list each day and colors a little bit each day.
this is March, and this is my indoor Hibiscus. What a blessing that it continues to bloom all winter! I didn't want to through it away after last summer, but didn't think it would live inside without the best sunlight. But what a Gift from God it turned out to be. It has red blooms on one side and a pink/orange one on the other side. Looking forward to the summer when I can set it out again and watch it turn into a tree! The first picture is from today and the second from a few weeks ago. the last picture is the original picture from May 2011 when I first planted it.
May God bless this day with family and friends as we all remember and give thanks for all God has done for us in our lives.
"I will praise the name of the Lord in song
and I will glorify Him with thanksgiving."
Psalm69:30
Enjoy your day!
Thanks to my friend Connie for the antique Thanksgiving cards and for the idea for a thanksgiving banner. See it hung up on my mantle and then see below for each individual one. The other tags are gifts for my hostess and her family today!
This week I am featuring my daughter Deanna ( 13). She and I are alone this week because Vera and Natalya are in NC at church camp. We are having a great time crafting together, going to the library, reading some great Christian fiction and cooking really tasty food!
She has been creating her own set of bible verse tags and I am proud to show you her work~!
Luke 6:45 is about the treasures in your heart, she used the Tim Holtz man ( without the umbrella) and then added a clear epoxy heart on top. Love the color scheme ( rubbed distress inks).
The next tag uses layers and the arrows symbolize God's ways. The arrow pointing to heaven shows her that God's ways are different and better than her plans for her life. The arrow going down towards hell is about her ways leading to misery and dissatisfaction. She used a Christian book page as the background layer and sprayed color washes on top.
The third tag is about singing to the Lord. She used purple because it is her favorite color ( regal and symbolizes God). Music notes are in the background. The flourish is about worshiping God.
Another singing to the Lord tag. This one uses the embossing folders, distress ink stains and stamps.
The tree embossing folders symbolizes power that we can reach when we reach for God. The man is trying to be open to God in his life.
The final tag Hilarious is about the colors and textures that make her happy!
She is a quiet worker, always thinking and absorbing. It has been my pleasure to showcase her faith art.
Some of the tags may end up in our bible verse tag class!
Today is a glorious day! The weather is wonderful, I feel free, light and proud.
Last night Vera and I were invited to attend a reception for the new Ukraine Deputy Director of the SDA ( which is the government adoption agency). She is here with 2 other officials meeting US government contacts and adoptive families learning more about Ukraine and USA adoption practices. It was an honor to meet her and to share a little bit of our adoption story.
My pride comes from my 17 year old daughter Vera. She was able to speak Russian and some Ukrainian to the Director and her team. Not only speak with them, but she ended up translating for the other families who don't speak Russian! Now most of you don't understand the context of that accomplishment, so let me share why this is a key milestone in Vera's life.
Vera was 11 years old when she came to America 5 years ago and only spoke Ukrainian, If you are over 40 in Ukraine, you speak Russian and under 40 speak Ukrainian. Vera was illiterate when she came to America just 5 years ago, meaning she had a working vocabulary of Ukrainian ( approximately 100 words) but no grammer or written education. We placed her in public school for the first year (6th grade). I determined that she was so lacking in the basic skills, and public school just doesn't have the ability to teach older children elementary level work, so we needed to go back to the beginning with her education. I homeschooled her starting with 2nd grade level work. In 18 months she went through 2-6 grade and then in Feb of 2010 went back to public school in 9th grade. She finished the 2nd semester of 9th grade, took summer school last year for Algebra and then in the fall of 2010 was a rising 10th grader. She signed up for Russian, not ever having Russian language skills. Within a few months the Russian teacher moved her from level 1 to level 2 and made her the class assistant for the level 2 students! She was asked to perform in the Olympiadia in the spring of this year, and not only passed the 3nd level but was awarded the top student in the state of VA for Russian level 3! She is considered a heritage speaker and that is why she had to compete at level 3.
Last night, she demonstrated a maturity and confidence that was a remarkable accomplishment!
God reminded me how he had a plan for my life and for Vera and how when I listened to Him and followed Him, His plans come to fruition! Jeremiah 29:11-14 says
" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
He rescued me from my captivity of self that I lived in for most of my life. His goodness, His mercy and his love were given to me as I did what he gave me a mission to do- adopt 3 girls from Ukraine, teach them, support them, love them and give them a hope and a future. He did that for them through me. It makes all the difficulties, challenges and tears worthwhile when I see my daughter blossom and shine for God.
I am a blessed woman!
I hope that you are celebrating our American freedom this long weekend. We had a fun day yesterday just creating!
Enjoy!
My oldest son celebrated his first Father's day and I wanted to make him something special to commemorate this day in his life. Here is my finished project. You will find the links for the products I used.
Supplies and Techniques:
I started with the 7 Gypsies4x6 photo tray . It holds 6 4x6 photos. I wanted to use some of the pictures of him and my grandson, and also to include sentiments that honor his fathering skills.
I created 4x6 cardstock backgrounds from the DCWV Tattered Time stack
It has some great gear cardstock that fit my son's lifestyle. ( My son is a auto body repair technician). I used some sprocket gears from Tim Holtz collection,Tim Holtz ornate plates, Tim Holtz fragments (clear charms), some jewelry metal word plates, Glossy Accents, metal wings, Tim Holtz clock face, Tim Holtz ball chain, metal embelishments.
I created a publisher document with the words, phrases and notes to Daddy and printed it on paper from the Tattered Time stack. Here is a free pdf of the word phrases for you to use! Download Fathers day 2011 4x6.
I decided to cut out the backgrounds on the photos I wanted to use so that the mat papers would show better.
I am so proud of my son and his new role as a father, daddy, role model and husband. He is a wonderful dad to his son Patrick!
Enjoy!
Almost half way through 2011, so might be a good time to evaluate my progress in becoming free.
Most of the time I tell you about my successes in this journey. I have been blessed and changed by God to have success in areas of my life that I want to change. Right now there is an area of my walk with God that I am not doing so well. Actually there are two things.
One is my frustration with my daughters disabilities. As I have shared, all of my girls are adopted from Ukraine ( only 5 years ago!). They were born with disabilities and we have to live with the consequences of their parents behaviors. My girls have FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome- each in a different degree), RAD (reactive attachment disorder) and PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder). All of these create a person who is afraid, unable to remember the simplest of tasks and has difficulty with comprehension of complex issues/tasks. This is very difficult to live with and to parent children with these issues. I have to say that they have accomplished so much- if they were still in Ukraine they would be dead or living homeless on the streets, so the fact that they are physically healthy, attending school and getting good grades and learning is huge.
My frustration comes out in the way I talk to them. It is so difficult to have to repeat the same things over and over and over again. When I think they have learned something, and we do it over and over again, and then they can't complete the task, I get very frustrated. I want to be loving and give them grace, but my attitude is hurtful to them and doesn't help the situation. I am studying Romans and Paul describes my life pretty well here in Romans 7: 15-17
" I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is god. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do- this I keep on doing."
So, I am being honest- in this area of my life I am sinning. I am tearing my children down with my frustration and perpetuating their fear. I desire to stop doing this and will be praying for my release of this sin in my life. I can use your prayers!
The other area of my life I am not doing well is in gluttony. Food has become my method of calming myself- to deal with my anxiety and frustration with my children. They go hand in hand don't they!
I am reminded of the keys to defeat sin in my life.
Refocus, reveal ( in this post I am revealing my sin), resist and realize!
My prayer is for God to help me to defeat my sin and become the loving mother I desire to be.
I pray they your one little word is transforming your life and that you are at the half way mark and will evaluate your progress also! May God bless you this week!
Final pictures of the girls my 3 hearts books. This was a great opportunity for them to delve deeper into themselves and who they are in relation to God. I sure am proud of them and hope you have been enjoying their work.
Vera:
This was the heart she hides. The one only she knows about.
Natalya: This shows the path her heart has taken and where she wants it to go.
The bible verse Natalaya uses sums up their pictures so well
"God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for thei will see God." Matthew 5:7-9
As I mentioned yesterday my girls and I are taking Christy Tomlinson's She Had 3 Hearts class. An art journaling class full of techniques- like 28 technique videos the first week alone!
Natalya and Vera really embraced this and here in their words are what they learned, are learning and some of their pages. I am so proud of their commitment to God, their willingness to learn and explore their faith and to try new art techniques. They are really deepening their walk with God and becoming young women of faith who inspire others!
Vera: This class was an springboard to expressing my heart in art and with my family. When my mom first told me about this class I wasn't excited, in fact I was afraid the truth coming out to my family on paper. I didn't want people to peek inside my heart! However, I have really taken the opportunity to look into my heart and I am learning about myself not just to please my mom or others. I am learning that there are positive things in my heart- I am caring, friendly and some negatives that I have tried to hide like being judgemental and being a know it all. I chose a blue color scheme because they remind me of my life- blue and green are the colors of nature and make my heart feel renewed and awake. I am really enjoying doing the class.
I created an outline of the 3 areas of my heart- how the world sees my heart, my heart toward my family and my private heart. Then I summarized it into one word expressions as a title for each page and then I journaled. I looked up bible verses to give me some direction and support my feelings. Here are my pages that I created (8 1/2 x 11) that represent my heart the world sees. Next week I will share my heart that I show my family.
For the past couple of weeks, Natalya has been struggling with a comment. For anyone else, most comments don't affect us that much. But for a child with disabilities, some comments can turn your life upside down.
So, what was the comment? I casually told Natalya that she was good at expressing her feelings on paper. My intent was to compliment her and build up her fragile self esteem. However, when you have reactive attachment disorder (RAD), a comment like that can send you off in a complete tizzy. Natalya suffers from RAD that has an anxiety- people pleasing component. So if someone else tells her something about herself, she believes it totally and gives them authority over her. That is what happened in this situation. A casual comment meant to love her, turned her upside down into "now I have to be a writer." Writers write books, I don't know how to write a book, so I better figure it out. Obsessively she began to ask so many questions, how do I write a book ( this from a girl who struggles to write a one page story), how do I name characters, do I type it or write it......
Finally I asked her if she was nervous about this, and she confessed that she felt all this pressure to be a "writer", but that is not what her heart was telling her. So, after a discussion, she realized she didn't want to be a writer, so the pressure was off. I encouraged her to write about her feelings, and she was able to journal.
RAD is a very sad emotional condition. All of my daughters suffer from it in one degree or another. For Natalya, RAD is more about being anxious and preoccupied. It causes her to be anxious most of the time, to spend all of her energy trying to please others instead of being at peace with herself in the world. She is very clingy and impulsive. She will say she wants to be emotionally close with others and is uncomfortable when she isn't, and she feels it is her fault. Actually they view everything as their fault.
I am proud of the progress Natalya has made in the past 5 years. She has gained some understanding and control of some of her issues and she is learning to lean on God more and more. She is working towards being free of the emotional chains that bind her. She is a daughter of the King!
As I mentioned yesterday I was a guest speaker for River of Joy on Saturday. I was able to share my adoption testimony. It was a good experience to prepare for my talk by reliving my adoption testimony and to understand how joy fits into my life.
I wanted to share a few things that God put on my heart as I was preparing.
"Come Fill my cup, Lord.... Choosing true joy over happiness"
Joy is a gift, a choice and not based on circumstances.
Joy is given to us as a gift from the Holy Spirit when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior as part of the fruit of the spirit...
LOVE JOY PEACE PATIENCE KINDNESS GOODNESS FAITHFULNESS GENTLENESS SELF-CONTROL
" sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything." 2 Corinthians 6:10
"4 I have spoken to you with great frankness; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds."
Joy is the result of discovering the person, power and plan of God in my circumstances. througout my entire adoption experience, God was in control, it was by His power that everything worked and came together.
Joy is the result of restoration. My boys, mother and brother relationships were restored by His hand.
Joy is the result of remaining in Christ no matter what. Allowing Christ to lead me, guide me and put my life back together created joy in me which is indescribable!
God created Adore Him creations. He is using this business to change me again- to grow me, to push me to do things that aren't comfortable, or easy. He is using AHC to bring others to him and to explore their faith through art.
4 You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me!
I sing for joy because of what you have done.
5 O Lord, what great works you do!
And how deep are your thoughts. Psalm 92:4-5 NLT
Here is the faithart that was donated to the charity. I love the colors, the bible verse and the blue bird of joy!
Natalya:
"I have always believed in prayer but it never came through to me that God could answer , even the smallest prayer. It really made me think about how I pray. I need to pray wholeheartedly. I need to share my feelings with God, out out my heart and be honest. My next prayer is for God to give me the courage to feel like I don't have to please everybody, because I am still loved by my family. I can be myself and I pray that God will give me self control. I need self control because I am struggling with being focused and thinking."
Vera: Last week Vera was asked to lead the "Edge Club" lesson. Edge Club is a student sponsored Christian club that she joined a few months ago.
She decided to use the song by Selah "One Thing I Know" to discuss pain. She wrote out her testimony and agreed to share it here.
" You might not know but I was adopted from Ukraine 5 years ago. When I was born my parents were alcoholics and smoked cigarettes. They only worried about satisfying their pain with substances. When I was 1 1/2 my mom had another child- Natalya, my middle sister. My sister is my half sister because my mom did not have her with my father, but with another man. My mom was a town prostitute, although she did not do it for money. I don't think she ever meant for it to be that way, but there was little she could do because she was drunk most of the time. My dad was not much better than her, but he did adopt my sisters as his own although it wasn't a legal process,it was considerate of him. My parents kept drinking and I was the one who was left to take care of my sister. We had a grandmother, but she did not like my mom and because I was her son's daughter, she fed me and took me to church occasionally. My sister she did some things for her because she felt sorry for her.
Five years later my mom had another child- my youngest sister also from a different father. I became a mom of two- Natalya and Deanna. While I was taking care of my sisters, my mom and dad were putting us in danger by bringing drunk men into our house to drink with them and when my mom was drunk, she would have sex with them in front of us 3 innocent children. Luckily, we were never touched by the men, but we had many sleepless nights and many terrifying experiences.
This went on until I was 10. Then the local police and government said it was enough, they took us away from our parents. We were put in 3 separate orphanages for 2 1/2 years until we were adopted. In 2006 we were adopted by a awesome single mom of 3 boys. Now she has 3 boys and 3 girls.
There is a lot of pain in this story but its not a story it is a reality. The only way I have been able to escape my pain and suffering is through Jesus Christ. This is one thing I received from Jesus, but most of all I got protection and hope!
One Thing I Know (Selah)
Something in your eyes I see
Reminds me of what used to be
When I was still uncertain of the truth
Sleepless nights that turn to days (have you ever been sad or depressed that you could not sleep?)
Alone inside an endless maze (Are you really alone?)
Counting on someone to see me through (Have you depended on humans to lessen the pain or fix the problem?)
Chorus:
If there's one thing I know,
You are never left alone (Psalms 55:22, 1 Kings 8:39)
'cause You can always call on Jesus' name (=Power like no other and that’s a promise)
If there's one thing I pray, ( prayer is us connecting with Jesus)
It's Jesus helps you find a way (Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me) (John 14:6)
To make a change and listen to Your heart
God will take away your pain (Truly He will take your pain away no matter how big it is)(Tell a bit of my story)
If you choose to let it go (You have to really want to let it go full hearted ly)
If there's one thing I know
How can I convince your heart
His light can find you in the dark (He is omnipresent. He sees everything)
And only He can make your blind eyes see (He is the only pain meds)
For if we speak of lost things found
Of lives that have been turned around
Then tell me who knows better, child, than me?
(Repeat Chorus)
Bridge:
I would never stake my life on any lesser thing
Than the cross of Christ where he gave His life to ease my suffering.
(Repeat Chorus)
I challenge you to listen to this song and ask God to speak to you!
The bible verses that tell this story are:
Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain (support, hold or bear up from below) you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken. Psalms 55:22
God alone knows every human heart. 1 Kings 8:39(so your never alone)
“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” John 14:6
God's plan for me is to be a "Godly" woman. What does that look like? If I use the Bible to guide me, then I look to Proverbs 31:10 -31. It describes a woman with a strong character, great wisdom and many skills. Can I use that as my pattern?
10 [b]Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.
19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm[c] clothes.
22 She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.
28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.
This woman is a manufacturer, importer, manager, realtor, farmer, seamstess, upholsterer, and merchant. The most amazing thing about her is her reverence for God. I like to think she is not just one woman, but a composite of many women. She is an inspiration for me.
In my life I have done a lot of those things. Adore HIM Creations makes me a manufacturer, manager, and merchant. I think God has given me this business to bring him glory and honor as I create faith art and use art to turn people to Him. I love to work in my yard, planting, creating and enjoying the fruits of my labor- my flower garden. But I have to remember that all of this verse sounds like a lot of "doing" and I am working on not so much "doing" as being.
So how can I "be" a Proverbs 31 woman? I can love my children- no matter what. I can follow God's promptings in my business, in my creating and in my professional life. I can spend more time in prayer and seeking wise counsel. I can "be" a woman that others seek for wise counsel. I can live with integrity and honesty. I can trust in Him and lead others by example. I can be " the light".
God, help me daily to turn to you, to love others as you love me.Thank you for loving me and providing for me and my family. Help me to be all you want me to be and to be the example for my children.
This week Vera is sharing the completed page from 2 weeks ago. Psalm 25 :1-4
1 O Lord, I give my life to you.
2 I trust in you, my God!
Do not let me be disgraced,
or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.
3 No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced,
but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.
4 Show me the right path, O Lord;
point out the road for me to follow.
The pink is a passion color and she is passionate about pursuing God in her life. No journaling on this page, just the bible verse. She is asking him to help her make right choices in her life and lead her down the right path.
Natalya: This is from the song "Jesus Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood.
Jesus Take The Wheel lyrics
Songwriters: James, Brett; Lindsey, Hillary; Sampson, Gordie;
She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy
With the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low
On faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning
On a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
?Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat
Sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, ooh
Natalya's words: I have been experiencing the need for God in my life to control my life and me. When I think of Jesus taking the wheel, I think of letting go of what I want and putting him first.
Since the youth retreat the girls are really focusing on their relationship with God. I am so proud of them. These journal pages are examples of faith art journaling. Pouring your heart out to God, using color, symbols and songs to express your feelings.
Natalya: Journaling: God put this verse on my mind today. I think he wants me to spread the message and grow in my faith.
Eph 4:13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
I am having a hard time hearing God's voice. I want to know what God is saying to me but I think that I am making my words God's words. When I make a decision about what I want, and I want to ask God if my decision is right but I don't take the time to listen because I want an answer right away.
April 19: This week I want to take the time to draw closer to God and to listen to his voice. I want to have a relationship with the creator of the Universe. I know the only way I can do that is to spend time with him. This is a perfect time because I know that He died for me and because I can thank him.
The tag has the song "Glorious Day" Casting Crowns " living He loved me, dying He saved me, buried, He caried my sins far away. Rising He justified freely forever, one day He's coming, Oh glorious day, oh glorious day."
Vera:
Song: Marvelous Light by Charlie Hall
" into marvelous light I'm running, our of darkness, out of shame, by the cross, you are the truth, you are the light, you are the way...."
Journaling: " Into the marvelous light I am running to God, to truth and to honesty. In the light everything is better, because I have God on my side. God help me to sprint into the light, help me to seek you with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my mind. I love you Lord."
My journey of becoming free is so illustrated in my little rescue dog Bella. Let me tell you her story.
Bella was a puppy mill victim. She lived most of her life in a metal cage, existing only to breed puppies. She didn't really know the touch of a human, or soft carpeting , treats or fun playing with other dogs. She was rescued from the puppy mill by a Lab rescue organization in KY. We drove the 10 hours to see the labradoodle puppies that the rescue org had that weekend. We fell in love with a cute little white labradoodle puppy and it was really hard to decide. Bella was in a cage all by herself, and so defeated that she didn't respond at all to us. No barking, or growling, or moving away from us. Vera was the one who went into the large cage and sat with her and tried to get her to respond to us. For about 2 hours we talked and tried to interact with her, and tried to decide which dog would work best for us and for Bailey our 1 yrs golden doodle.
Here is Bella at the rescue organization. She was so matted, had horrible breath and infected ears.
I was reminded of another rescue story and God put it on my heart to talk to the girls about their own rescue. Deanna was crying and so upset because she had her heart set on the puppy, but when I asked them to think about what would happen to Bella, and what would have happened if I hadn't adopted them- what if I only wanted a baby or a cute little toddler, where would they be ???
In the end we took Bella. He name was Kayla, but we changed her name as we drove back to our home in VA. We loved the name Bella and felt it was a pretty name for a little girl and it sounded so cute with Bailey. Bailey and Bella, our two dogs.
Here she is on her first day as Bella- we groomed her and started her transformation! Her eyes are still so fearful and empty.
It is now almost a year since she came into our life. At first it was difficult to watch her, the fear of everything- fans, people, doors, yards, etc. Bella wanted to go outside, but was scared to death to go out the door. She wouldn't come back in either. In fact most people didn't know I even had a 2nd dog, because she would hide most of the time.
God intervened in Bellas' life about 4 months ago. Somehow, she made the decision to trust- to let go of her fear, to be happy, to wag her tail at us, to let us pet her, love her. It is a joy to watch her now. She has come so far!
When I think about my own walk in being free, Bella reminds me that I have to make the decision to "BE FREE". To walk in freedom means I have to let go of my fear, my anxiety, to make the choice to love and be loved.
So each time I pet my Bella, I thank God for the picture of faith and freedom he has given me!
2006 was a year filled with many firsts, trials, joy, challenges, sadness, grief and LOVE. As we knit together our new family, God was changing hearts. My brother and mother became more open to the girls and started to get involved with them. Our church welcomed them with open arms and helped me with emotional and spiritual support. My sons welcomed their sisters as if they had always been a part of their lives.
Their first six months are captured in the scrapbook entitled "Dreams really do come true". This book symbolized the entire journey I had been on with God- my mission trips, the adoption and how he was changing me and giving me the desires of my heart.
The girls had 2 main questions about coming to America. Can we swim and can we ride bikes when we get there? So, we had fun taking them to an indoor pool and through some generous anonymous neighbors 3 new bikes appeared! Zach began to enjoy having 3 sisters. He took them to the park, played games with them, and just became a big brother. We went to Philadelphia to see my Aunt Ruth and Uncle Fritz, who had been big supporters of the entire adoption.
The girls had so much fun meeting and playing with their cousins. They were learning how to be sisters- remember they had been separated from each other for over 2 years and when they lived together , Vera was more the mother than a big sister. So they had to learn how to let me be the Mom, what good Moms do and what they were allowed to do and not do. They learned to celebrate birthdays,
and had their "first birthday party" both Natalyas' 11th birthday and Vera's 13th.
The last page of this album written at 6 months September 2006 was my prayer : Thank you God for the precious gifts you have given our family. These three wonderful girls have become sisters, daughters, grandaughters and nieces. They are a source of joy to everyone. Everything is new to them- learning to swim, to ride bikes, have a family, see elephants, ride a motorcycle, have brothers to play with, have beautiful clothes, plenty of nourishing food, pretty bedrooms, clean sheets and most of all love. We will always cherish this time in our hearts when God created a new family!
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray tome, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you and bring you back from captivity."
Jer 29:11-14
to see the entire album look at the photo section of my blog.
Vera's journal for this week.
April 7: Trust in God with everything is very hard for me. God, I want to trust you with everything. Lord please help me to remember that you are the Lord of my life and that you are big enough for my concerns and problems. Thank you for helping me and forgiving me every time I mess up. Lord of Lords, King of Kings, almighty God, you are so perfect and powerful and you would even consider helping me. Thank you for caring for me. I love you.
Natalya's journal:
April 5, 2011
I had the best time at the retreat, worshiping God and getting to know him better. I came there desperate for God and in need of something to make me happy. I have found out that true happiness comes from within God. The topic was being a fool, and I think I have been a fool . God has changed my heart. I thought that i could do things on my own and depend on myself, but I cannot.
Be Here: Natalya made this page because she wants to be present and listen, process and confirm what she heard. She is struggling with over promising and under delivering.
The images symbolize that she is happy to be with God and to praise Him.
I am so proud of them. They have come so far in 5 short years. They are beginning to "own" their faith. To love Jesus because they do, not because I do. God is doing a mighty work in their hearts and lives.
On Feb 22 2006, Shauna (my close friend and mission companion) and I left for Kiev Ukraine. Shauna had graciously offered to accompany me for the first 2 weeks of my trip. The adoption plan was a two visit one -I would be in Ukraine for 3 weeks and then return home wait a few weeks and then return to get the girls. So I packed clothes, reading materials, etc with the 3 week plan in mind.
Here is my picture in front of the Government office for adoption.
Four days later we finally made it to Vera's orphanage in Verba and it was another life changing moment for me. The girls had no idea I was coming, it was a freezing cold Saturday and we had no idea that they had already moved Deanna into Vera’s orphanage. It was a dream come true to see the girls again. It had been 9 months since we had seen each other. They were living in horrible conditions, but were so happy to see me. I think they finally believed they might get to leave the orphanage and be reunited.
The next day I went to see Natalya at Misoch a 2 hour drive in a different direction. She came in shyly. I really cried when I saw her, she was so fragile and vulnerable. It was wonderful to be able to keep my word to come back and make them my daughters!
I was told that if I wanted to stay the entire time in Ukraine, I could possibly get the girls and return home in 1 trip, but I would have to stay about 5 weeks. My friend Shauna left as planned after the first 2 weeks, so I decided it was easier to just stay and wait it out . I was on my own in the little town of Dubno waiting for all the processes and paperwork to be completed. I learned how to ride the public bus to the internet cafe each day, went to the orphanages each day to see the girls and read my bible each night in my little room. TV there is mostly pornographic, so I really was alone, most of the time. God used this time to keep me calm and focused on his work in me and in my life.
I also used this time to do a lot of sight seeing and learning more about the country my daughters were from. We went to an ice festival, played soccer ball in the snow, and took the girls to their first beauty salon where they each got haircuts( their first professional ones in their life) and had manicures.
Three weeks into the process, my project manager Natasha informed me that there was a possibility that the judge could deny my application the next day when we went to court. This was the first I had been told of this possibility. If that happened, I would have to leave Ukraine, and Natasha my project manager would appeal to a different court. That process could take 3-6 months with no guarantee that I would get a favorable outcome. I started to be anxious and fearful, but I felt his presence there with me in my little hotel room. I turned to my comfort- the Psalms. God spoke to me in the night gave me peace through his word.
Psalm 56:3-4" But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.
I praise God for what he has promised.
I trust God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?
Psalm 62:1-2,5
I wait quietly before God for my victory comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation my fortress
where I will not be shaken.
Let all that I am wait quietly before God for my hope is in him.
I was able to sleep and have the peace that passes all understanding and go to court knowing that he was in control and that all would be according to HIS plan. I had to surrender my body, mind, soul, and self-control. The miracles I had been a part of were confirmation that His will always reveal a way for Him to get the glory and honor.
March 20, 2006
A very long day, full of surprises, dreams realized, hopes secured & goodbyes.
The judge heard my case in the morning and we returned in the afternoon for his decision. At lunch the girls were so scared and crying- they wanted to know what would happen if the judge said no.
God provided me the opportunity to share my faith when I told them that I trusted God and he had a plan and it would be revealed to us. Finally at 2:30 we were ushered into his courtroom again, and he re-read all the papers aloud again, and finally Vera looked at me and smiled and pulled on my arm and nodded to me and tried to hug me. She heard him say YES- they were going to be my daughters! God had made it all work out- Hallelujah!
This is the first photo of us as a family in front of the judges court in Dubno Ukraine.
The girls had to say goodbye to their grandmother and mother who had shown up at court unannounced and it was difficult to not show them how happy they were. Their grandmother told me that she had prayed for God to send someone to rescue her granddaughters and she believed that I was sent by HIM and she gave me her blessing.
The final picture of the girls mother and father and grandmother.
I had to get airline tickets out of Ukraine for 4 people and leaned that you can't go online to sites like Expedia in Europe. So I had to email my friends and ask them to look up flights. Also, the money was an issue. Since I had stayed longer in Ukraine I was running out of money. When my friends told me the only tickets they could find online were about $7000, I was really scared. Great, how was I going to get the money to pay for that? My translator worked part time in a Ukrainian travel agency and he worked some magic for us and found me tickets on Aerosvlat into JFK in NYC for $1800! So were were able to get into the US, but then I had to get us back to Virginia. My two best friends decided to drive together to meet us at JFK and drive us back home all in one day. God had provided the entire way for us.
The entire 5 hour trip back home the girls kept asking if we were in VA yet, they didn't understand that we had to drive through 3-4 states before we got home.
We arrived at my home March 31 to a wonderful welcome by my small group who provided us a house full of balloons, food, and love. Our first two weeks were wonderful, difficult, dramatic, and precious. Within 3 weeks, God provided a new job working from home with the same income too.
Here is mothers day 2006- first pictures of all my children together. The journey was just beginning!
Who and what am I watching today? I am watching my girls become Godly young women!
Natalya and Vera went to our church's youth retreat this past weekend and it had a profound spiritual impact on both of them. Primarily about deepening and owning their relationship with God.
They both became aware of the fact that my faith is my faith, not theirs. To become the woman God wants for them means they have to own their faith, take the steps to grow closer to God, spend the time with Him in prayer, meditation and to rely on Him to support them during school hours.
It reminded me of how far they have come. On April 1 last week, was their 5 year anniversary. They have been my daughters for 5 years. It has been a rocky road, filled with happiness, fulfillment, sadness, pain, grief, major behavior changes and most importantly letting go of survivor skills and living in abundanceland. It has been difficult, but we all keep going, growing our relationships with each other, with God and with our family.
I am very proud of all of them. They are honor roll students in school ( remember they were illiterate only 5 years ago), do their homework and chores each day without nagging, attend church, babysit their nephew ( my 1st grandchild Patrick) and rescue doodle dogs. They read a lot, craft almost daily, work in the yard, build things with me ( our deck, decorating our home), enjoy cooking and enjoy daily life.
I have a blessed life with them and they are a blessing to our family, their brothers, my friends, our church and our neighborhood.
Thought it would be fun to look at the before and after pictures of each of them.
Deanna 3 months in America age 8.
Deanna 5 years later, age 12.
Natalya her 10 yr birthday party. The first Birthday party ever for her.
Natalya at her purity ceremony last month age 15
Vera came to America for 2 weeks in Dec 2004. This picture is the last one I have of her before she left to return to Ukraine Jan 2005. She was 11 years old.
Vera last year at age 16.
They are both blessed and a blessing!
Next stop Ukraine!
Zach and I arrived in Ukraine summer of 2005. We made our way via a 6 hour bus ride to Rivne, where our mission team works in the orphanages. After a lot of calling and negotiating, we were able to find Vera - she was not at the orphanage, but at a summer camp.
So we went there and surprised her! Seeing Vera again was such a moment to remember! These are the first pictures of our meeting her and Natalya. She was so excited to see me and Zach again, and her sister Natalya was with her at a camp too. The hope in her eyes was worth everything I had been through so far and confirmed that this was the right thing to do. God intervened and allowed us to take Vera and Natalya out of the camp and stay with us for the entire week we were in Rivne in our hotel. It was so precious to see them together- all three of them were in separate orphanages and did not get to see each other. Each morning we went to Deanna’s orphanage to work with the mission team and Vera and Natalya came with us.
The worst hour of my life was when we had to take them back to the camp on Friday morning and say goodbye. How do you say goodbye and not promise something you may not be able to deliver? I did not know at that point if I would be approved for adoption, and if I would ever see them again. So, we had to say goodbye by saying I would TRY to come back !
Trying was not in my vocabulary, remember I am a doer. But I was cautious and did not want to hurt the girls. We shed so many tears and with sad hearts we left and came back to America. I received 2 letters from the girls a few weeks later, while I was doing all the paperwork, but they did not know that I was trying to come and adopt them and I had no way of contacting them to give them updates.
So while I was proceeding with this complicated adoption process, God was teaching me to demonstrate my faith and trust in HIM and my dependence on HIM alone. The first day back home in America I found out that my company was doing a reorganization and I may lose my position. Wow, another chance for God to reveal HIS plan for me and for me to depend and trust him.! This really scared me as I had already committed to pursuing the adoption. This company had a adoption reimbursement policy of $5000 per child that you adopt, which I had planned to cover the expenses.
I did lose my position, but one of the vendors I worked with offered me a great position at more money and I accepted it. He also promised me $ for the adoption, so it seemed all was back on track. I went ahead and took out a loan against my 401k and was prepared and waiting for the date to go to Ukraine. We spent the next few months remodeling our rental home to create another bedroom and waiting. Waiting- it was getting comfortable now.
Christmas 2005 came, my son Andrew was delivered safely home from Iraq. Praise the Lord! I was waiting ( had been for 4 months) for my appointment date. Then 2 weeks in to January the very small company I worked for reorganized and laid me off with a 1 week severance package. At first, I though life seemed to be conspiring against me to complete this adoption. But I soon understood that all of this was just God showing me that HE was in control, not me, and that it would be evidence that he made all these things happen for his glory and honor, and nobody could say – wow Diane is so great, look what she is doing on her own!
So, now I had no job, no funds to do the adoption, no car (because I had a company car) and what do I do now? Was the devil making this happen, was I supposed to not do this????
I did something I had never done before in my life. Instead of giving up, or getting depressed, or going blindly ahead, I asked a small group of people from church to come to a prayer vigil at my house. I asked them to listen to all the information and give me wise counsel on what they thought I should do.
They believed that God was in control, he had asked me to follow him and do this and his plan would come to fruition if I trusted him totally. We came up with a plan for me to ask my company to honor their commitment to provide the money for the adoption and I went and humbly asked. It was uncomfortable for me because I hate to not be in a position of power, but I went and asked sincerely and with no malice. A week later they called me and told me to come and pick up a check for $10,000.
God was in control! This provided me the money to live on and then all I needed to do was get the funds to complete the adoption. I was blessed by New Hope when a generous family offered me a used car. I had borrowed the money from my 401k plan, but when you leave a company you have to pay it back or take a 50% penalty in taxes. There was one other option, return the borrowed funds to my 401k plan, and get it whole, and borrow the money from someone else, until I could get a new job, take a new loan out and return the money.
Now, here is where God works miracles! My son Andrew had saved all of his army money and he had $39,000 in the bank. He offered to loan me the $20,000 I needed to go and complete the adoption! God had provided again, his way in his time. God had sent my son to Iraq, had protected him, and softened his heart to participate in HIS plan for our lives.
I love reading this, and remembering God's provision in my life. It was good that I wrote all this down a few years ago so that all the little details and intricacies that were woven together would not be forgotten.
Next week, going to Ukraine to adopt my three daughters~
Yes, my journey with God was getting very interesting!
I believe I was part of a miracle that just had occurred with Vera and recognizing her sisters and it made me shiver and be in awe of HIM. He was giving me a new desire, to really think and pray about the possibility of adoption. Could I really do this, how would my family feel, would I have any support?
During this time my middle son Andrew was activated by the National Guard and was being shipped to Iraq. He was a truck driver and was going to Iraq for a year. Of course, if you remember, most of the troops were killed are on the road traveling in Iraq, so he was going right into the line of fire.
Andrew survived Iraq, and God revealed how Iraq was part of His plan for my family and life later. In the process of considering adoption, my mother and brother were very against the entire idea. They had many questions and wanted me to think about through many things.
God was in the process of changing me and this was a good example of a major change in my response. In the past I would have just gone ahead with no preparation or thought, but because I loved my mom and brother and God was working in me, I responded entirely different. I spent about 6 weeks researching, praying and writing a 9 page document addressing their concerns. This was so unusual for me!
I presented this to my family and some women who are my wise counsel for feedback. The response from mom and brother was not positive to say the least and I was devasted by their responses. They were totally against this entire idea. My sons were supportive and encouraged me to do what God was asking me to do.
However, I was very afraid. God was with me and asked me a very important question- “Diane, whose approval are you seeking? Mine or man’s”
God gave me this bible verse “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
GAL 1:10
This was such a wake up call to me and I realized that I was doing the same thing again. I asked Him to lead me and He was and I was afraid to follow. Could I give up my family’s approval and risk even having any relationship with them if I did this?
After lots of prayer and wise counsel, I decided to proceed with the paperwork. I knew that God would stop the process at any time if this was not what he was asking me to do. My marital situation had to be resolved also, and after waiting for repentance and release for 5 years, GOD did release me from my marriage, and it ended in divorce in 2005.
The international adoption process is long, involved and arduous, and constantly has roadblocks which force you to demonstrate your commitment level. Zach and I spoke about how our home life would change and I encouraged him to come with me to Ukraine on the next mission trip in June of 05 so that he would be prepared. He was basically on only child, he and I were living comfortably, we had freedom, time to be together. We discussed that never having a sister, now getting 3 sisters would probably drive him crazy.
After a lot of coaxing, he decided to come and it was another way for God to prepare us for what we were about to do. He was able to see their country, an orphanage, orphans and how much God had blessed him. He really blossomed there and his heart was softening to being a big brother and to love girls who had never know any kindness or love or family.
Next week- our mission trip, seeing the girls again and having to leave them in the orphanage without promising if we would be adopting them!
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